I’m now three weeks into my 12-week strength training program (Jamie Eason’s Livefit). I was super cardio and running focused for the last few years, so this is a step outside of my comfort zone. I’m loving the workouts, and I’m enjoying the results, but there are some parts of lifting weights that make me really miss the cardio floor.
Here are a few thoughts that have gone through my head while I’m in the weight room.
- High school boys have terrible form and should not be allowed to lift here.
- If that guy takes another mirror selfie I swear I’m going to call him out in front of all these bros.
- Who talks on the phone while they’re working out!?! There are signs about cell phone courtesy everywhere here!
- Why is your water bottle taking up a whole weight bench?
- If you can only do one rep before grunting and dropping the weight to the ground, then you’re not doing it right.
- Why are these hand weights out of order? Can’t any of these bros count?
- I always wipe down the cardio machines before and after using them, but I don’t see anyone wiping down the weights…I’m going to wipe down every weight I use from here on out.
- Also, hand sanitizer. Incessantly. Until my hands are dry as sandpaper.
- My shoulders look so defined. If I take a mirror selfie, will that make me one of them?
- Does froyo have enough protein to count as a post-workout snack? (the answer is no.)
- Is that…is that smell coming from that human at the next bench? Holy cannoli I didn’t know a person could smell that bad.
- Please don’t stand directly in front of me while I am clearly working out. I EXIST, bro!
- Well, it’s even yuckier when you move to stand right behind me when I’m doing bent-forward rows.
- Oh, my gosh, please stop watching me.
- Yes, I am using this cable pull that you just watched me set up and adjust to my miniscule height.
- Yes, I am using that weight you just watched me retrieve from the rack.
- Yes, I can lift that “big weight,” Sir. Thanks for asking, I guess…
- I had no idea that muscle existed, now I am so sore I might never forget.
- Was that set too heavy, or am I just teacher tired?
- Since you can’t re-rack your plates, I’ll be leaving all the machines set to small girl size and I’ll laugh to myself as I watch you clumsily try to adjust it.
So, there you have it.
Can you tell tonight’s workout was a little claustrophobic? I used to pay a lot more money to go to a women’s only gym, and tonight I remembered why. If anyone out there has any tips of feeling comfortable and maintaining some level of sanity while working out in a super-local YMCA weight room, let me know!
Now You Tell Me…
- Do you use the gym during peak hours? Any tricks of the trade?
- How do you deal with creepy double standards in the weight room?
- Tips on reducing soreness? My ham strings never get sore, and right now they’re KILLING ME!